Lovelyness Begins Here… What is LOVELYness?
What exactly is LOVELYness? Why am I pursuing it? And how can I define something that seems to be increasingly going out of fashion along with etiquette & penmanship in this fast-paced, ever-evolving world filled with technology & on demand services where our everyday lives are dominated by faceless interactions & wireless transactions?
This is a little bit about my journey of discovery, my hopeful road to happiness and where it all began…
Dictionaries provide the following enlightenment: Adjective – lovely, lovelier, loveliest. Noun – loveliness
- Having qualities that inspire love, affection or admiration.
- Charmingly or exquisitely beautiful: a lovely flower.
- Having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye, as a person or a face.
- The qualities in a person or thing that as a whole give pleasure to the senses.
This last one makes a lot of sense to me and is perhaps the most poignant… A concept that is hard to describe exactly, but you know it when you see it – much like art.
In truth, the title of my blog came about after a very long brainstorming session about different words & phrases that I felt summed up what I was trying to achieve or portray and where I was actually aiming for, whilst not knowing exactly where the road would take me (literally & geographically!).
The final inspiration obviously came from the book & movie The Pursuit of Happyness, where the title is purposefully spelled incorrectly with a Y and the word HAPPY is written in a different colour. I watched an interview with the real life Chris Gardner who’s story the movie was based upon and he says:
“The reason we left the Y in the title of the film and more importantly the book, is that the Y is there to denote YOU and YOUR happiness. What makes YOU happy? Everybody that sees this interview is going to have a different definition of happiness, so it’s all about YOU and what makes you happy. And not in a negative way, not in a disrespectful way, but what makes YOU fulfilled, what makes YOU happy or brings YOU joy? That’s why we left the Y in there…”
That’s why I’ve also spelled Lovely with a Y… Because it’s in finding simple things that are lovely to me, seeking joy in small lovely moments and aspiring to be a lovely person myself – even at times when life isn’t filled with loveliness – that make me feel like I’m on the right path and bring me joy. In so doing, if I can inspire even one person to do the same, then I’ll have succeed!
Another little bit of inspiration surprisingly came from the Owen Wilson movie You, Me & Dupree. He portrays Dupree, a pretty loveable drifter who’s never managed to make much of himself, regularly getting knocked down by life but always rising up and starting again. In the end he becomes a motivational speaker with his own particular brand of positivity and seize-the-day optimism by writing a book titled: “7 Different Kinds of Smoke – Living, Loving & Finding Your Inner -ness”
In a conversation with his best Carl friend he says:
Carl: What’s with this “Carlness”?! It’s not even a real word!
Dupree: Yes, it is.
Carl: Oh, it is?
Dupree: It’s a verb. It’s a conjunction. A preposition. It’s a philosophy. A way of life. It’s your name with “ness” attached to it.
My blog name is also my philosophy, my way of life… My aspirational Pursuit of LOVELYness.
This is one of the places I first encountered the word LOVELY as a child, falling completely in love with Audrey Hepburn in the 1964 film My Fair Lady. It was one of my mother’s favourite movies and we watched it over & over & over again (we didn’t have a lot of options in those days!).
She too was searching for simple pleasures to enjoy in life…
I loved the songs, the music, the costumes, the houses, the interiors, the sets… Everything about it appealed to me! I suppose, however, I was most transfixed by the notion that – despite being labelled a ‘guttersnipe‘ at the beginning of the movie -, by studying the arts of speech, conversation, etiquette & personal styling, Eliza Doolittle succeeds in transforming herself into a truly lovely lady. She has a tempestuous start, but with perseverance, dedication & the unwavering ambition of improving her position in life, in the end she surpasses all expectations!
To me personally, LOVELYness equals happiness. If I find one, then I have the other…
Some may find this a trivial concept, but it was this realisation that became the founding thought for my blog. It was the common thread that was clearly weaving its way through the multitude of different things I am passionate about in life. Suddenly, it became obvious what I wanted to build something around…
So, I ask myself again, what actually is LOVELYness?
Well to start with, it is far more than just outer visual beauty – someone can be beautiful, stunning, picture perfect even, but be far from lovely…
LOVELYness is much more of an inner beauty that shines out, regardless of age, size, race, background or financial stability – indeed you can often witness it in the unlikeliest of places!
LOVELYness is being graceful in our actions. It is seeing the best in a situation and consciously choosing to stay positive, to find a pleasing solution. It is appreciating our blessings without bragging.
LOVELYness is being a kind & thoughtful person, thinking of others and helping without needing to be asked; Bringing a friend a meal when they are struggling, sending a card in the mail or an article that made you think of them, reminding someone of their good qualities when they have perhaps forgotten.
LOVELYness is giving encouragement where it is needed, letting friends & family know when & what you appreciate about them … Or sometimes just saying nothing, as hard as it may be, if that is what’s best.
LOVELYness is seeing the best in people, assisting those less fortunate and realising that everyone is fighting their own battles, sometimes simply trying to get through the day.
LOVELYness is gracious winning and graceful losing. Celebrating success, being a good team-player, but also letting our losses teach us something valuable instead of making us bitter or resentful.
LOVELYness comes from a self confidence of accepting who you are, being happy in your own skin and choosing to make the best of what you’ve been given. That in itself is a long hard lesson to learn…
Choosing LOVELYness also means teaching our children lovely qualities and showing them by example how great it feels to be kind, gentle, patient, respectful & loving towards each other and people around them.
Being surrounded by lovely things makes me happy, but these items are often not necessarily the ones that cost the most – something a child has lovingly made, a gift from a dear friend, a surprising treasure found at a market or during our travels. (The above print is one by a favourite artist of mine and hangs right inside our entrance hallway as a last reminder before leaving the house).
For me, making an effort to create a lovely home is not simply for the obvious aesthetic appeal, but more so to create a space in which friends & family feel welcome, supported & nourished on all levels. Somewhere they enjoy coming and leave feeling happy, loved & energised.
Knowing I’m In Pursuit of LOVELYness makes me consciously behave better, feel happier & be more grateful on an everyday basis. It inspires me to be the type of mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, coworker etc that I truly want to be…
It also reminds me to not always be so hard on myself and to occasionally allow myself the time for enjoying those small simple pleasures!
Appreciating the minutiae of everyday life, being grateful for what we already have & acknowledging the wonderful things all around us is a process we should work on every day…
The more that we actively choose to lovingly take in & appreciate things around us, the more our inner gratitude reflects out as LOVELYness.
It’s a process, something that evolves over time – hence I’m “in pursuit” (and some days do go horribly wrong!). Small conscious changes become habits, consistent behaviour develops into character and the more we accept ourselves lovingly, the easier it is to see the effect we have on others around us.
Simply put, I believe LOVELYness is having a heart filled with love!
So view the world & the people around you with love, spread love wherever you go and perform random acts of kindness whenever you can – this will bring joy, create happiness and you will indeed be LOVELY!
Wishing you much love in your own pursuit,
Holly x